you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems