He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
vagina is talking i cant
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.