omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
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my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
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James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.