Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
time to smoke my breakfast
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century