...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
