took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she told me i tasted like america
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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