Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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