Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
