there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You are a genius and a whore.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
