i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
