And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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