i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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