i just google imaged poop.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
