You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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