I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I came so hard my ears popped.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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