Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
