You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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