Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
