I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
birth control should be required to get into college
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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