he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
