I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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