Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
