Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
