just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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