I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
