cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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