it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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