C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
