Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize