One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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