the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
