He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you didnt know i had herpes?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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