did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
