She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize