I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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