He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I need water and some morals
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
