half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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