Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
