i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
