life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I am in a vortex of obligation.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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