My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
