I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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