I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
