Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
