grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
