Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
