you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
handjob tips. give me some.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
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tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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