dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
