I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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