the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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