My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
