ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
