I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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