last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
