Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
