You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
