I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
