I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize