I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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