farters have to be the big spoon...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
