too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
