I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
