Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You made out with two different species that night
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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