piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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