glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize