you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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