I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't want my vagina anymore.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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